Feel

I set no pace

Give no commands

Lead no men

But I pace my words with contemplation

Command my thoughts into stanzas

Men read my words and praise me

And I feel as if I’m worthless

Surely I am the last of my line

Nobody to continue on and finish the race

Nothing to give besides a full head

But empty heart

Call it rejection, call it shooting my shot

I fall short every time

I feel I was better when I was younger

Dumber

Numb by the empty faces

I fade slowly into the back

And let her go

And I feel as if my path is refurbished

Not my own, but here I am

Directed by the Earth, but I follow my own plan

Testosterone tells me glide not walk

Testosterone says get up when I fall

Testosterone says keep texting

Every shot I miss pushes me to shoot again

Each blank slate says draw again

And I feel as if I’m emboldened

By the struggle, by my reality

I can’t read you, but I throw it anyway

Double, triple coverage, I don’t even care

I’ll keep firing

Until I find someone who does

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