Talking

The trouble comes when I talk

It’s dense, palpable, and in the slowness

I find words to be literal shortcomings

Of a figurative battle I cannot see

I fight everyday against angst and hope

That you will see better than I see myself

Normally I am wrong, but who I am to ask

I can hardly understand what people do

Suggestions and cues are left to rot

I can only understand the literal, the spoken

Not the possibilities, or the guesses

People toy with my mind on a silver platter

But this entree snaps back

Not ready for someone who doesn’t take shit

My harsh responses confirm their beliefs

I don’t appear to be an open person

I don’t seek validation or support from others

If it comes, so be it, if not, then fine

Externally focused but internally driven

I only let certain people in, and even then

I am cautious

You’ve traded me before

Used me as a pawn in your game

I’ve been mangled, I’ve been broken

I have fallen, and felt the sky underneath

Might still be falling, but I won’t open my eyes

I’ve experienced the cheap thrills

And felt the touch of despotic girls

I’m okay

Really

I’m okay

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