I Am

I am not a sober man

I am not a righteous man

I am not

A man who looks both ways before he crosses

I am not

A man who looks away from the scantily clad

Females of my age

I am not a clean man

I am not a sane man

I am not

A man who counts his wins against his losses

I am not

A man who looks back at the beggars

Who incite my dismay

I am not a compassionate man

I am slow to lend a helping hand

You might say I am an evil man

Or at best, extremely inconsiderate

And you may be right

But I am a man who has endured pain

And a man who has seen death

Can only witness so much blood before he too

Bleeds too

Either in mind, witnessing death in half time

Or in soul, knowing that he too can be taken

I am a man who has suffered at the hands

Of people I called family, friend, and neighbor

I am a man who has winnowed his circle

Down to the smallest it could possibly be

When I’m reminded of what could have been

I wish to shrink it still

Until only I am left, and even that

Would be a heartbeat too many

Breaths too much, for they can overwhelm

When filled with rage and passion unexplained

Dying from reaching people they were never

Ever meant to breach

You might say I am a lonely man

Or at best, extremely misled

And you may be right

I give my heart to everyone, but I have two

One I keep to myself

And the other I give to you

I live and love blinded by memory

Sometimes the one I give out

Is the one least prepared to be inspected

And the one I keep to myself

Was never meant for my blood

Self inflicted pain courses through my veins

When the headaches begin

The lights begin to dim

And I hear them screaming my name

2 thoughts on “I Am

  1. So much here to read… the past four poems i encountered were all richly woven… they leave me speechless…wanting to speak. Breathless and breathing hard. 👏🏼✌🏼

    Liked by 1 person

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