To Be Real

I don’t deserve you

No I don’t, not an ounce

Not a fraction of a minuscule breath of yours

Could ever be worth my nostrils

You say you’re a good person, and I know

It’s true

But I never say I’m a good person, because I

Know it’s true

And if you are, then turn around, shut the door

Shut the door and run far, far away

Because as long as I’m around you I bleed

As long as I feel you, I bleed

Not from scars or sacrifice

But from the fact that my soul burns

At finally having someone like you

I honestly can’t believe that it happened

How did it happen, could it happen again

Would I ever recover if I was made to redo it

So I let our connection grow, in time

I know we’ll become closer to touching

Not bodies, but souls

We are closer already than you know

At least, I am

At least, I feel free when I’m with you

At least, I feel sane when I’m by you

At least, I feel home

Again and again, I’ve travelled

But finally I can rest knowing

That somewhere, I can find you

At least, for now

At least, right now

At least, until you move on

At least, until someone else finds you

Again and again, I’ve been left for others

Here I am thinking, finally, somebody stays

Somewhere I can reach them

But there’s only emotion connecting us

Is that enough

Only words connecting us

I think that’s enough

Am I scared, am I worried

That someone better will seek you out

And take you as their own

Or am I desperate to piece myself together

Stitched from your veins

Woven from your arteries

Around the heartstrings of my own

Crafting a meta-human, fictitious

And unloving

Yet beating, breathing, and yearning

To be real

And to love

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