My Own Creation

You’re breaking

The very thing

I thought you were meant to save

Of all people, and of all places

Of all hopes, hearts, and faces

Here I stand in the center of the room

Everyone’s dancing, but me and you

Remembering what it’s like to stand out

In the worst ways, most bittersweet ways

There’s nothing like being different

But it’s better to be different with you

We call to each other, in thoughtful steps

Considering the paths we’re likely to lead

It’s all but a dream, and somehow much more

Taking your hand and falling into the gravity

Of the dance floor

The synergy in our movements, the totality

Of steps, perfected not by practice

But by passion

I feel the movement before you make it

And you say yes long before I’ll ever say it

Because I’m a hopeless lover who can’t

Be loved

And you’re a wandering soul who needs

Someone to remember her past tonight

We need each other to keep going on

We need tonight to make each other strong

But you’re breaking away from me

As I speak

Desperate to be free of the monster I am

You’ve seen the light, but the darkness too

You’re not the only monster in this room

And it hurts

Every single time I take a breath he lives

Inside of me, poisoning my blood

Wreaking of devils thought to be vanquished

They’re calling me home, the mother boxes

Of my own demise

And you call me to your face, and laying

Near you, feeling your skin, I feel safe

Your heartbeat is a cradle, a resting place

And here I am, unable to rest

Here I am, unable to sleep

Breathing but heavily and with great burden

I do not deserve the object I need to escape

That which I do solemnly create

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