Falling Apart

Stuck to my ways, my miserable

Self-depreciating, grossly intoxicating

Ways

That I could muster up the strength

And be normal, be human, functional

Was always a mirage in everyone’s mind

I’m unhinged, AS-IS door from IKEA

Ruined by trauma, obsessed with reliving it

Is the only way I’ll ever feel alive

Nobody understands why I’d rather die

Than live in moments punctuated with sad

I’m not the bad guy, I’m the good guy

With the gun pressed to his own temple

I’m not the solitary, I’m the sane

With his hands on the trigger, waiting

For some unsuspecting demon

That just wants blood before the foreplay

Nobody wants to see me past their payroll

Or listen to me past the stopwatch

Of their self-indulgent sensitivity

Who wants to love the unlovable

Dismembered remains of an optimist

Now hardly pessimist

When the asteroid does hit us

I’ll field it like Devin Hester

No need to drag out

My desire anymore

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