(For a friend)

it was 12:22

I was supposed to see you, tonight

we’d talk about family and friends

laugh about our latest mishaps

maybe make out

that was the plan, until the balcony

I couldn’t reach you, not even ten

“your call has been delivered to automatic voicemail” later

I was deathly ill with hideous combination

rage, worry, and dread

I could have died, but who knew you did too

that was the plan, on top of the balcony

that dreaded height, the taker of every breath

one life forever snuffed out

just because they couldn’t love you back

but I did

choking back tears and muttering curses

“why couldn’t I have done more to help you”

I waited and waited for an update

I never thought I would

until the balcony’s plan was thwarted

“I don’t even understand myself”

“Because of what happened tonight”

“I trust you”

“I just wanna talk, and cry, please?”

“No one in my whole life has been as good as you”

I don’t ever want to feel that way again

But of greater importance

I hope you never need to step that far again

I’m sorry I can’t be closer, but if I’m your closer

Continue trusting me to pull you through

Somebody has to

And we’ll do it together

Cause fuck the balcony

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