Autistic Trips Vol.10-Not Really Here

Sorry, I didn’t hear you there

I was getting up from another attempt

I don’t even know where

I remember little white masks, and a wrench

What can I do for you? Excuse the blood

I was just working out, I’ll punch myself

Because if I’m not strong, I’ll never be loved

My loneliness is the final blow I’ve dealt

My home is empty, lifeless as can be

I wander in and out, but there’s nobody here

Only notebooks and dried pens to see

And the ever present stench of dread and fear

Can you read my mind? Can you feel this?

My hands tremble as I write these words

Feeling the scars on my face, hands, and wrist

I give you a snippet of pain you never heard

In essence, I’m never truly present

Mystical movements of matter lessened

Where the flesh ends and the spirit begins

You’ll find me, wondering when it ends

Wandering from place to place, heart to heart

Resting on a new head on my chest each night

I’m trying not to let my condition tear me apart

Maybe it’ll kill me, but maybe it’s just a lie

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