Words To (The Truest) Friend

Thoughts racing

My mind drifting through the darkness

My bare feet have bled for hours

I’ve lost sense of taste and touch

The numbness radiates through my veins

Where am I, trapped in the Frozen Forest

I drop to my knees, teeth chattering

And though my body was weary

The soul began to fumble through the memory

Past hurts, present wrongs,

The moments between

Memories without

You don’t deserve me

Socially obstructive, challenging & disruptive

I’ve said the least, meant worst, done too little

Now I’ve come to the crossroads

I’ve broken trust I was not the founder of

Shattered bonds created when I was still spirit

Torn a heart too large for me to ever repair

You don’t deserve me

I’ve never always been nice to you

It’s always been hard to relate

Even as a brother I sometimes lose touch

And sight of where I am within it all

Wise men say the root of man’s problem

Is memory

I am a walking collection of shame

With just a hint of a smile

As to make you wonder if I might be alive

I’ve taken steps, then a hundred too many

Right through the beauty that makes you

You

As generous and kind

Witty, patient, and pleasant

Courageous, acclaimed, confident

Things I’ve always wished to be

Yet the stars seem to bless everyone else

Instead

I’ve watched you grow up, so quickly

I cry sometimes when I realize

You used to be so young

And I wonder if I had been a better brother

Where would you be now

If I had known better, shown you better

A better example, could you be even higher

Than where you are today

All along the question shouldn’t have been

If you deserve me

But the statement, proven empirically

I do not deserve you

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